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Re: countertransference, again - should I fire my » backseatdriver

Posted by raisinb on July 22, 2008, at 15:15:37

In reply to countertransference, again - should I fire my T?, posted by backseatdriver on July 22, 2008, at 12:19:03

I don't know the context. But I don't see how your comment logically leads into wanting a "personal relationship" with him. It just doesn't make sense to me. Also, what do his feelings of inadequacy have to do with your positive feelings about him?

I've told my therapist that things she does are touching, or comforting, or that qualities in her strike chords in me. She usually reflects back to me the sense that she's trying to understand, like, I'll say, "you do this, and I realized that's something I have always wanted," and she says, "yes, because you haven't had it, your childhood was," etc., etc. And sometimes if I tell her these things, she does them more to try and improve our relationship. Seems like either of these approaches would be more productive.

Either way, I'd feel stigmatized for having positive feelings about him, which I don't think is helpful for you. I agree with the others--see if you can talk to him about it, and weight it in the context of the whole relationship.


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