Posted by LadyBug on April 17, 2008, at 10:26:29
In reply to Re: Confused and Hurt (possible trigger)~LONG~, posted by Happyflower on April 17, 2008, at 9:34:12
Thank you for the kind replies.
I printed out my post and read it a few times. It helped me see what I needed to see. But that doesn't take away the pain. I got it! I get it! I need to stand a lot taller and not depend on her at all. I can't share my pain with her, I need to do it on my own. I know that is what she's trying to get me to do. Stand on my own two feet. But isn't that one reason I pay her???? To listen to me??? I'm confused for sure. I think I'll give it a few weeks before I try to contact her. I'd love to write her my thoughts, but I'm certain that is against her boundaries right now. She told me to let her know if I wasn't going to come in but I'm afraid to even call to tell her that I'm not coming in.
My group meets tonight, I may go to it as it helps me accept the adoption and know what other grandparents go through. Once a month we meet jointly with the birth moms.
I didn't need this stress added to my life but I have to deal with it because it's mine to deal with.
Thanks for letting me spill my frustrations.
I'm regretting therapy right now. It's such a mind killer sometimes. I hope my T can see she hurt me, she needs some time to realize it too. But I hate the fact that she will be right and I will be wrong. I'm always wrong. I give in much to easily instead of telling her what I think works for me. She has all control of her boundaries and I hate it. I have to accept it though. I know that if I terminated over this I would want to go say goodbye face to face. We've worked to long and too hard not to. I can't face that right now. I need some time so I'm taking it. I'll just see if she tries to contact me. I don't think she will. She'll wait for me. I even thought about changing my phone number so if she calls she can't get a hold of me. She has my work number though, she's never called it.I appreciate you all so much right now. I've loved babble from the time I found it a few years ago. Thanks for helping me figure this out.
*Still Injured* LadyBug
poster:LadyBug
thread:823715
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/823775.html