Posted by LadyBug on March 15, 2008, at 13:18:23
....that my grandson (first grandchild) arrived last Sat. March 8th. The labor and
delivery went as well as possible. He was placed for adoption at the
hospital 48 hours after he was born. I spent the entire time with him
and my daughter (except for 2 hours that I left to go home to shower)
My daughter handed him to his new parents and we left the hospital
empty handed. This has been the hardest week of my life!!!! I cry
because I love him and want him. The adoption is open but I don't
know if I have the strength to see him only to have to say goodbye all
over again. I KNOW without a doubt this is what is BEST for him. To
have a mom and a dad. My daughter needs to finish high school and go
on to college. She will be a part of his life and I know one day he
will thank her. His adoptive parents are awesome!!!!! They couldn't
be better parents and they have extended family to love him as well.I had an appointment with my T on Wed. this week, 2 days following the
adoption. I spent the hour telling her every detail of the labor
right up to the placement.(Crying my eyes out the whole time) She
made very little comment. I thought she seemed cold to me and it made
me mad!!!!!! I don't know if she didn't know what to say, or if she
blocked her feelings not to show any. Anyway when the hour was over,
I said, it's time to go and she said, uh huh, so I got up, she said,
thanks for sharing that with me, I said nothing back as I was in too
much pain. She said see you next Tues. I left without saying
anything. I never do that but she hurt me. I didn't need that. Now
I don't want to go back. She will be out of the country for the next
3 weeks anyway so why go get things stirred up and have her
gone...........I hate therapy sometimes and lately it's been bad!
I thought she'd at least offer to let me call her anytime. (I know I can anyway) She's
pissed at me for some other things anyway. I don't want to go Tues.
but I know if I don't, she'll be even more pissed at me.I hate therapy sometimes. I want a real person to talk to that I know
isn't playing by therapy rules and crap.
Anyway, I thought I'd share this with you as I think I mentioned what
was happening in my life a few months ago. The pain of this was far
worse than I ever imagined it to be. He is the most beautiful baby
I've ever seen and the best baby I've ever been with. He was a
miracle baby and he's changed my life forever.
I love him with all my heart and miss him more than I can say. I took
the week off work to be with my daughter. She left a voice mail for her T and she sees him this week. He's been good to her!
She loves this baby, her son, more than she
ever thought she could love anything in her life.
Please don't expect any replies from me with this. It's too hard and
I don't have it in me to do. But if you do reply to me, know that I'm
thankful for any thoughts you might share.Thanks for letting me share this with you. This is the hardest thing
I've ever gone through. Harder than leaving my husband last August
after 23 years of marriage.LadyBug
poster:LadyBug
thread:818102
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080226/msgs/818102.html