Posted by Dinah on February 15, 2008, at 8:04:52
In reply to Re: Therapist Speak » Dinah, posted by DAisym on February 14, 2008, at 17:56:20
Fun can be caring and nurturing. Just with a bit of playfulness thrown in. I was wondering if that part of your relating belonged more to the grownup part of you, and if it might be helpful to encourage the younger part of you to experience it as well. To experience a range of ways of relating to your therapist. Not joking or intellectual banter, of course. Just playfulness.
I know that part of you holds your sadness and a range of other difficult emotions, and that those emotions should be respected and not diminished in any way.
But if you met a real little girl, a solemn and sad little girl with lots of reasons to be sad, wouldn't you try to encourage her to experience other things as well? Not because you didn't honor the sadness and the reasons for it, but because she deserves more than just sadness? Even more than just sadness that brings nurturing? And maybe even because nurturing can be playful and gentle and fun.
I'm not sure what that looks like in all cases. I know sometimes I bring in something I care about to share. A picture or an object. Or I might come in, sit down and smile shyly, and tell him I'm very happy to see him today. Or sometimes he shares with me the stories of the objects in his office. Things like that. Geared not to an intellectual or witty enjoyment, but to a simple and elemental emotional enjoyment. A gentle one, suited to the circumstance.
If that makes sense.
Just my thoughts. I don't experience what you experience, so I don't know if it would be helpful to you. But for me it's been helpful to experience a wider range of ways to be cared for and cared about.
poster:Dinah
thread:812413
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080210/msgs/812847.html