Posted by seldomseen on January 20, 2008, at 9:30:07
In reply to Makes me sad Seldom... » seldomseen, posted by JoniS on January 19, 2008, at 21:26:07
They can be very confusing, and they don't develop for everyone in therapy. Different people need different things out of therapy.
All I know is that for me, they did happen and they helped a lot.
I talked and talked and talked about them with my T and I think that was the key to their resolution.
I didn't try to keep them bottled up or hide them. Just went headlong and worked with him to try to understand them and learn from them.
To my T's credit, he was a master at dealing with them. He never got defensive, he was open to anything I said.
But I think most importantly, he didn't try to deflect them either. He never once said "the way you feel about me is actually the way you want to feel about your father/mother/etc..." He kept it in the room and didn't write it off - at least to me - as transference.
There are two people in that room, and a relationship will develop between them.
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you sad. I do want to point out that I have had a lot of time to process my experience with my T. Years in fact, and that has helped me to understand what happened and why it worked for me.
Seldom
poster:seldomseen
thread:807740
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080114/msgs/807900.html