Posted by annierose on January 12, 2008, at 13:05:02
In reply to Annierose's '10', posted by annierose on January 11, 2008, at 22:52:22
I'm pretty sure that I have voiced my fears and sadness during the past few weeks. She has received them and responded in kind.
She has reassured me over and over that her schedule change has nothing to do with not wanting to work. She used the word, "balance".
Both times she was late - was under 5 minutes. I know, I am hard on her. But to never be late and then to be late when I'm feeling so vulnerable already, it hurts. Once was traffic (I did see the slow traffic in the direction she must come from on my way to her office that morning) and the other time a phone call ran long.
I brought up the money issue the second time she raised my fee. She acted surprise that the older fee was listed - but two years later - it's still there. I have not brought it up since.
She was very gentle yesterday. She said that she was here for me and wanted to help me with my scared, hurt, vulnerable feelings. But with her new part time schedule and all her vacations, I feel like her job is not important to her - therefore I'm not important anymore. It reminds me how little I matter to her when she matters so much to me. She said that her schedule is not set in stone. IF it's not working, she will change it back.
I called her this morning. I never EVER call her on her cell phone. In fact, I rarely call and ask her to call me back .. maybe once a year at most. She hasn't returned my call.
I'm a complete mess inside.
poster:annierose
thread:805850
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080101/msgs/805932.html