Posted by star008 on January 2, 2008, at 23:34:04
who gets this except those of us who carry around the stuck ikids from childhood??? having trouble with one of another. angry that it all happened at all and left me screwed up?? angry that I didn't do it to myself but it was done by people who really needed help and I don't think they knew that they were sick.. They would look at me and think I was the cause of all the trouble but no one could see that i was just a symptom of a huge family problem.. But they could blame it all on me cause I am the one acting out and getting into trouble..and I was gettin in lots of trouble cause i wanted someone to notice that I was drowning and needed a hand up out of the muck..didn't come..the hand up out of the muck never came cause they all though I was trouble-making little brat..And i got older and was still looking for ahand out of the muck but no one could see, to help me.. i lived there in the muck and sh888t,, hope i am not scaring anyone.. it is just ddnos.. No need to worry.. i am ranting..
and more bad stuff happened and I couldn't tell anyone cause I would get in trouble with my mom for whatver.. it was always my fault. And i don';t recover from all the family stuff.. years and years later and I stil do not have peace..Things still are not accpted. there will be no resolution here..It is too late..all i can do is to try to get the stuff out.. things i had to keep secret.
and why do i feel like i should have gotten over it all?? It was so long ago.. but to my Ikids it is still going on..ok,.,, i know i sound nuts.. gota go
poster:star008
thread:803951
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080101/msgs/803951.html