Posted by Daisym on December 16, 2007, at 0:09:23
In reply to Re: How do I prepare.. . . » JoniS, posted by Dory on December 15, 2007, at 15:21:54
Joni,
I know how hard this break will be for you. I'm glad he told you how much you mean to him...you can hang on to that.
I think, if you really want to figure out your transference, this could be a great opportunity to talk to another therapist about it. You'd have support while he was on leave and you would be working on what is upper most in your mind. Perhaps he could recommend someone. It is also an opportunity to work with a woman, or do a group.
That said...sometimes it helps to recognize the love you feel as genuine love for someone who helps you and to whom you've grown close to. It might have romantic wishes attached, but that makes sense given the circumstances of your life right now. He listens, he is warm and empathic, and he knows you, secrets, tears, wart and all. And he hasn't run away. So of course you love him.
I can hear you thinking, "but what about the 'no desire' for anyone else part?" Well, maybe you don't need to focus on anyone else except yourself right now. (I realize this might be hard on your husband.) But it isn't just that your therapist is ideal...something seems to be missing in the rest of your life. As your therapist steps back for a few months, maybe the "what's missing" will come into focus and you can make some changes.
Bleh -- I don't know if I'm helping. The good thing is, it is temporary. And you still have us. But no matter what, it will likely be painful and long. Just take one day at a time, and hopefully it will go quickly.
poster:Daisym
thread:801010
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/801091.html