Posted by vwoolf on November 13, 2007, at 13:53:06
In reply to Is this also considered transference?, posted by ells on November 12, 2007, at 21:30:01
I think I know what you are talking about, and I know how confusing it is. I do think it is a form of transference, at least that's how it feels to me - it has that sort of dreamlike, irrational, vaguely sexualised quality about it that is difficult to control.
My son has seen several T's over the past few years, and I have invariably felt a heightened attraction towards them, even when I have never met them (as is the case with his current T). A couple of them, when I think back now, were not the kinds of people I would normally find interesting, but because they were "saving" my son, and therefore me, they filled my thoughts and hopes and dreams.
As I said, I have never met his current T, but I sometimes call his answering machine to listen to his voice. It feels crazy, but I suppose I am wishing him to father my son. I am about to begin divorce proceedings from my son's father, and his T feels like the only person who can help him and me through this. I have told my T about this - she seems to find it quite normal.
I have decided that it is in my son's best interests for me to keep away from meeting this man, just as I would want anyone in my family to stay away from my relationship with my T. It is quite painful, but I keep telling myself that I am an adult, and where possible I must try and protect my child.
But it is hard. I don't deny it. I wish I could help more.
Welcome to Babble. I don't post often but I visit here a lot.
poster:vwoolf
thread:794725
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071105/msgs/794853.html