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Re: Definitions...

Posted by Dinah on October 2, 2007, at 14:11:24

In reply to Definitions..., posted by B2chica on October 2, 2007, at 13:36:48

I suppose it depends on how you interpret it. If you mean, do you understand intellectually that all of these parts of you exist that's one thing. But if you need to have one part of your consciousness say "Yes, this other part of my consciousness is still me, and I really feel this way." as opposed to "I'm here, and I'm here, and we share." that's an entirely different thing.

Rational me doesn't accept that emotional me is part of rational me. Emotional me doesn't accept that rational me is part of emotional me. Both me's are aware that both me's exist, and I refer to both me's as me's, not them's.

But rational me will never accept that emotional me reflects rational me's thoughts and feelings, not even hidden thoughts and feelings, any more than emotional me will ever accept that rational me reflects emotional me's thoughts and feelings, even hidden ones.

Rational me likes what rational me likes, views things as rational me views them, and feels about things and people as rational me feels. The same for emotional me. There's some overlap, but not more than you'd expect from siblings, say. Norms and mores are generally adopted from parents and peers and cultures, so those are likely shared.

But emotional me adores my therapist, and trusts him. Rational me distrusts my therapist and doesn't have an overly great opinion of him. Similar differences occur about many things. They aren't conflicting opinions at all. Rational me is quite clear. Emotional me is quite clear. Sometimes rational me might scare emotional me into thinking something is true. But it's not the same as being conflicted about something.

Why would rational me and emotional me want to accept each other as parts of themselves? That doesn't mean Dinah can't accept that both parts are valid layers of consciousness.

My therapist refuses to concede that rational me, not Dinah as a whole, is the one with OCD. He says he has to view me as a whole. And yet it's true that emotional me doesn't have OCD.

In this sense all of me rejects integration. It would be like asking a family to merge into each other. No part would get lost. But no part would retain it's unique individuality.

 

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