Posted by DAisym on August 16, 2007, at 20:30:13
In reply to Re: Processing Stuff - Trigger, posted by Racer on August 16, 2007, at 20:05:20
And then, of course, being me, I can also blame myself for not being over it yet. I should, after all, be over it. I'm not. Every time I'm reminded of how much I'm not over it, I feel so damaged, I just wish I could lie down and never have to wake up. It just feels like way the hell too much for me.
****I'll channel my therapist and say, "can you stick a pin in the judgements for just a minute and let yourself feel scared or angry - or both, at what happened? We both know you don't want to feel this way - but you do. So let's work with that and then we'll work at getting past it." The things that happened were awful and it is OK that you aren't over them yet. I say frequently "but all this happened nearly 30 years ago - so why is it a big deal now?" but intellectually I know that the psyche has its own time table. It will take as long as it takes to figure it all out. There is no shame in being traumatized (says the pot to the kettle.)Of course, now I've made this about me, so I can feel lousy about that, too. I suspect it's got a lot to do with my T screwing up on my appointment this week, and now being on vacation. And knowing that I really do need to leave her a message telling her that it really wasn't OK for her to screw up that way.
****NO - it wasn't OK for her to screw up. Did she forget completely? I'd be devastated particularly before a vacation. And it is OK if this is about you, I asked for people to talk to me, not just about me. Want me to leave the message for her?Thanks Racer, for saying I deserved better. We both did and do.
poster:DAisym
thread:776688
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/776704.html