Posted by LadyBug on June 22, 2007, at 21:34:19
Hi All,
Can I just share with you all?
I saw my T on Thursday this week. It was a good visit, except she left yesterday morning and I won't see her again until next week. I asked her who I was going to bug this week since she won't be available. She said, you can call me, I won't be that far away. Oh right, just on the other side of United States?????? She's going to go visit a friend of hers that just had a baby and the husband is leaving her because he didn't want a baby or a child in his life. I wish she'd come and stay at my house for the rest of the week.Some of you know I've been living in a terrible marriage and been trying to figure a way out for several months now. I have an average job, one that would seem impossible to make it on my own and take care of my youngest daughter anyway. I've looked almost everywhere that I'd even consider moving to.
Last week we had an issue come up with my aging parents and the Dr. told my brother that my parents can no longer be alone and that we need someone with them 24/7. I was hoping all along that my parents would help me out with some needs until I can start over and be on my own. Yes, as in money, kind of help. I was afraid to ask but knew if I did they'd do all they could.
In talking to my sister she said they were moving my parents into an assisted living place and we'd be getting their house ready to sell this summer. I was crushed, my hopes of having help were gone. My parents live about 90 min. away from me.
To make a long story short, my 4 other siblings talked and agreed that I have been through so much sh*t the last several years in my marriage that I need their help. They have all agreed to have me move into our parents home and pay nothing except in the near future pay the utilities!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I told my T I had some news for her but I wanted to tell her face to face. When I told her this on Thursday and all the other stuff, she said, "I am so happy for you that it makes me want to cry. I'm going to weep, that is so great that your family is so willing to help you and sees just how much you are in need right now".
There's one more great thing. A few months ago, my parents both lost their driving privileges. They have a fairly new car that just got out of my brother's auto body shop from being repaired from my mom's last episode of backing into a pole. They told me to dive up this weekend with my car and they'd leave the keys in my parents car for me to have and drive home. No payments, no money!!!!!!!! A house for me and my daughter, a car, and NO PAYMENTS!!!!
There is a God, and he's known of my suffering. He's prepared this great blessing for me in my life.
I've been suffering for years in this marriage. My husband has done everything to me but kill me, he's never been physical with me, just verbal. I've been severely depressed, taken meds, had anxiety, been suicidal etc. I couldn't repair my self enough to get away from him.
My T has been by my side for over 10 years and has seen me go through some tough stuff!!! Through transference, I've wanted her as my MOM, and even a part of me wanted her to be a best friend. It's been painful. I've learned to understand transference, does it make it easier that I understand it? Yes, but it still hurts once in a while.She's out of town this week and then she is going to be gone a month. I will be quitting my job and moving while she's gone or shortly after she comes back. I'm scared of losing her, she tells me she'll work something out with me. She will meet me some evening after I get off work and can drive here.
Another thing, my brother told me, don't worry about finding a job, we'll keep our eyes open for you, we know a ton of people, and don't think you have to have a job the first thing when you get here, your job will be seeing that mom and dad can come to the house and sit on their patio and dad can work in his garden the rest of the summer, or take them out when they want to leave the place they will be living. The place they are going to is very nice. Get your things packed up, I'll bring some trailers down and my 5 boys and we'll have you moved out in an hour!!! And if your husband thinks he's tough and tries anything I kick the sh*t out of him!!!What a great opportunity to get a fresh start! I'm almost in shock. I'll miss the people I work with, they couldn't be better or more fun. I love the town I live in, I've lived here 23 years!!! There are a lot of things. I hope things go alright with my Therapist and I. I worry about that. I told her I'm more attached to her than she is to me, she knows that. But we can work it out.
Ok, sorry this is so long, I'm just trying to figure out now how to tell my husband. I'm afraid he'll be mean!!!!!!!!!!!! Not physically, but verbally. He can be so vicious and cruel. I wish my T wasn't leaving so she could help me figure out how to tell him.
Maybe some of you have been through this and can tell me what worked for you etc. That would be nice to know.
Can you just celebrate with me. My 23 year anniversary is next week. And this is how I will celebrate!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yippee!!!!
Thanks for being my internet friends. You've helped me become who I am today even though I remain silent a lot of the time.Love and Peace,
LadyBug:
The new person just beginning to know how to feel relief and joy. I don't need a freaking man in my life, I'm bitter. I won't carry that around for long, it's poison to my soul.
Thanks for reading!!!
poster:LadyBug
thread:765109
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/765109.html