Posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 22:10:25
In reply to Re: LOL not dumb! You never dumb! i here. » littleone, posted by littleone on May 11, 2007, at 22:01:37
> My T was showing me how full my life is. In fact how it is so much fuller than what he and most other people have. I fill so much into it. And he thinks that ... words have run out. Need to think some more.
I forget his words, getting all jumbled, but what it comes down to is that I have this great fear of being bored and lonely. And that I'm not really that bored and lonely, my life is very full. But the fear that's there is driving me on and on relentlessly and as soon as I'm idle I fall into the hole.
It amazes me because I've never seen myself as having a full life. I've always identified myself as bored and lonely. Even to just htink that maybe I'm not bored and lonely is just so mind blowing for me.
I know part of the fear is driven by being scared of falling back inot the depression pit and feeling unwell again. BUt I know a big part of the fear is to do with the 10 year old.
It's so funny because I think I'm doing so well learning to be on my own and accept solitude and stuff like that. Whereas my T thinks the big problem here is that I can't bear to just sit. Just sit and be with mysefl.
poster:littleone
thread:757991
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/758000.html