Posted by pfinstegg on May 6, 2007, at 7:32:32
In reply to horrified for you = ( glad new T is supportive... » pfinstegg, posted by zenhussy on May 5, 2007, at 21:36:55
The new T started by saying that he was there to listen to anything i wanted to tell him. I could tell by his eyes that he really meant it. He didn't say "everything", as the old one had. We talked some about couch versus sitting up, and were in agreement that sitting up would definitely be best "for now" (his words). He said , "having been through something as traumatic as you just have, I think it's important that you receive as much non-verbal information, as well as verbal, from me as possible- and the couch cuts down on that. Using the couch can be good when you are more stable."
You know, the old T really did act sort of crazy, all of a sudden, having been so great before. I don't think he could say anything to me now which could repair it. And, it's been nearly six months since it happened, so I have gone through a lot of grieving and letting go. I miss him a lot, but I wouldn't want to go back.
I think the new T is going to be good- he's quieter and less emotional than the old one, but I'm just a cauldron of emotions myself, so that's probably good, too. You do feel that you are in contact with him- and he with you. That's helped a lot, in just a few sessions.
But these offices!- the last T's office was dreadful- everything black plush- but the new one's is the same! They must all confer with each other about where to buy their furniture. There is a difference- I feel that I could tell the new one my opinion of his office, and he wouldn't become defensive; the old one would have.
We also decided, "for now" that I'll go twice a week, rather than more often, so that I have a chance to calm down and, hopefully, live a more adult life in the days in between. I think he's right about that- going daily is tremendously taxing, as it brings your defenses down, and all your early pain seems to intensify. If your T can handle it, it's probably the best way to really change, but it doesn't always seem to work out that way.
Well, the adult self is off to ride in a dressage horse show. Thank you all, everybody, for your wonderful understanding and support. I'll let you know how things work out with the new T. Even though he looks like he's just been working in his garden, and I feel like throwing everything in his office out the window, I do like him- especially the very honest, attentive expression on his face.
poster:pfinstegg
thread:755956
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/756252.html