Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on April 22, 2007, at 18:46:00
In reply to Re: Bringing spouse to my therapist, posted by DisTraught on April 22, 2007, at 9:01:18
I recently took my husband with me to therapy for the first time. basically we had gotten into a rut where I was having a really hard time dealing with life and he felt he was in a rut because nothing he tried to say to make me feel better was working.
I was sick of feeling like the crazy one. he was sick of feeling powerless to support the crazy one.
So I took him to T (he's very very very very very very anti-T, by the way) but he agreed to go, if it would help me. And it was okay. T told him some of the things that I was struggling with in language that I wasn't capable of using (because I dissociate when I have to activate those particular memories) and I think husband "got it"
she gave him a couple of scripts to use to help calm me down. Think of me like a 9 year old, or a 5 year old, who's all alone with her worries, and try to relate to your wife in that way (OMG!), not the way that you relate to your wife who is a [over]grown woman.
he used some of them over the next few days. I gave him plenty of opportunities. i was sobbing for at least 30 minutes about something nearly every day for a fortnight.
practice makes practiced.
...
-Ll
poster:LlurpsieNoodle
thread:752146
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070419/msgs/752524.html