Posted by Honore on April 17, 2007, at 22:23:10
In reply to help, posted by wishingstar on April 17, 2007, at 17:28:25
Hi, WS. I was wondering what form your regrets take when you post. Is it self-criticism-- you don't like yourself, or the way you sound-- or is it you feel that you don't get responses that help, or are respectful of your feelings?
In a way, when you say no one knows what to say, I think maybe you narrow the frame too much. Nothing that I or anyone-- Ginny or your closest friend-- says today, or tomorrow, or next week, will, itself help. It's what's said and felt together over time. Sometimes, it takes a long time to be able to sew together the separate moments, or hours-- and that can be the work of months or years.
I know it must be terribly hard to stand the waiting, without any certainty that that time when things begin to seem continuous or enough will come-- but if you just stick it out, and try, despite your doubts and fears, to give it whatever bit of trust you can-- it really will.
I wish I or Ginny could say the right thing, that would make it all start to come together on the feeling level, and would make the center hold-- now-- but maybe over time, she can. If you are seeing her, still? Not in one individual session, and not because she can understand-- but because the two of you, over time, can creete a bond, and sense of connection that can combat the hopelessness and emptiness that you struggle with now.,
I hope you are seeing her-- or will give someone that time to start making more meaning together with you.
I really am sorry it's so very hard now.
Honore
poster:Honore
thread:750780
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/750886.html