Posted by muffled on April 15, 2007, at 0:05:06
In reply to Stories, posted by littleone on April 14, 2007, at 22:03:56
> It talks about how we share stories with each other every day - when someone asks us how we are or what we did on the weekend. So much "small talk" is this sharing of stories. And it is all such an important part of life. Sharing and expressing our experiences and emotions enriches our everyday lives.
**yeah, I not so good at this. My T says how are you, I say, fine. My T say, how was your week, I say, fine.
>
> It made it sound like the sharing of our stories is what makes life worth living.**I think maybe we can LEARN from stories. Like not to make same mistakes and stuff. It kinda gives you clues to the person when they talk, not just words but body language and tone, and eyes.
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> This upset me terribly. I hate small talk. I hate sharing stories. I don't care about other people's stories. I have never understood small talk. I have never understood the need people have to tell each other their junky stuff. It always seems like a waste of time to me. I only become interested if something deep is delved into.**Sometimes it feels good to complain if you've had a bad day. And then they can say stuff, and sometimes it makes you feel a little better.
My T says others REFLECT ourselves. So its good to be around others if you feeling lost cuz the somehow refelct yourself off themselves and so it helps you find yourownself. Dunno if I explained that very good. But I not very good at small talk, don't like parties cuz of small talk. Just don't go.
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> I've talked about this with my T before about why superficial talk is important (eg to gradually build up relationships and trust, etc). But even then it still seemed like something to be worked at. A chore to do so you could get to the more interesting stuff.**Sometimes, maybe lotsa times, people look at me funny cuz I say wrong things. Maybe I say stuff people don't normally say to people they don't really know. Cuz I not good at small talk. I like deep talk too. Tired of crap. Want to be real.
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> But this book... it really made it sound like people *enjoy* this sort of sharing. It enhances their lives. It is rich and rewarding in itself, not just a stepping stone to the riches.**Sometimes talking with others makes me feel good. When I have been successful at making others feel good. Then I feel good too. When people smile at me cuz I been nice to them, it makes me feel good too.
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> Is it any wonder I fail with people. I fail at life.**There is a place in this world for all. You goto find your place. Accept that you a little different than the great average of humanity. S'ok to be different. Makes the world better. Takes all diff people to make world work.
You sure helped me LOTS. So I not think you fail. You not fail with me.
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> And then of course there are the deeper stories. I'm not necessarily talking about abuse stories here - more stories that are close to your heart and important to your self.**REAL stuff...
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> I don't have much of a life. A very big chunk of my day to day life is taken up with therapy, working on therapy issues and working with my parts. Not the sort of stories you can discuss with most people you know. And for me, the "close" people I should be able to tell my deeper stories to (ie my family) are unable or unwilling to hear my stories.**Well you can post anytime here. Your posts help me lots. Only my T knows of my people, she knows a few bad things I done, but thats bout all. You could share some stories here, or on writing, if it would be helpful for you.
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> I have been un-heard my whole life by them. Is it any wonder I stopped telling my stories long ago.*so sorry :( That is hurtful for you.
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> And it's not just that I've been un-heard. Wanting to tell my stories invokes a very bad girl feeling in me. More exploration is required here.** :-(
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> I don't have a "support network". There's my T, there's me and occasionally there's babble. That's it. My T talked about how one of babble's big strengths is how it's a place to share our important stories.**Dunno. Sorry you alone. Wish you could find safe people. There's safe people out there...
I have family and stuff, and I like them and they like me, but there is a wall that nobody passes.
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> So I wanted to tell that story to babble.**Thank you for sharing your story. See, it helps me to hear your story. Now mebbe I understand you a bit more, now you mebbe understand me a bit more. And I was really upset a bit ago, and now I am not so much.
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> And my little dinosaur is listening in too. He's stayed in my T's office a lot since I got him. He used to hide there and spy on my T to see what he's really like. Now we're okay with our T and the dinosaur just likes to hide there cause it's safe. He's a paper-a-vore, so he nibbles on my T's books when he's hungry. He has come home with me this weekend so we can go to a special place together. He will keep me company and talk to me. He can roar at nasty people, but he's only a baby dinosaur so his roars are really little and quiet.**OMG WAY COOL DINOSAUR!!!! He spied on T for you!!!!!! GOOD idea!! I'm glad he can go with you sometimes, I bet he likes to go with you sometimes. Thats good that you take him sometimes. I hope you have a good weekend, and give your dinosaur a puff on the nose for me, I think mebbe they like that.
Bye
poster:muffled
thread:749901
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/749936.html