Posted by sunnydays on April 10, 2007, at 21:47:45
In reply to Re: How come my T face seems so bright? » sunnydays, posted by Happyflower on April 10, 2007, at 19:42:46
> Hi Sunnydays,
>
> I believe we are all different, no 2 situations are alike. Some have more issues, some have less but take more time, some are in forever therapy, it varies so much.**** Oh yeah. I sooo wish there was a way to have a manual for life that's easily generalizable to everyone. Then everyone could know what was best for them. But it would definitely take the interesting-ness out of life.
In the end, there will always be problems, this is what life is, so expecting little or no problems when we terminate therapy is really setting us up for disapointment and unrealistic expectations
**** Well, I would hope for few problems when I terminate. I know it's unrealistic to have no problems, because everyone has their issues.
> .
> I really pushed myself, EMDR probably helped things go faster than traditional desensaization therapy. I was also ready too.**** Yeah. I know I'm ready because it was my decision to tell my T what happened to me, and I have joined a trauma survivors group (although I haven't told them, but that has more to do with issues the group is having at the moment than with my issues).
> There are things we can do independently from our T's too. Some of the stuff I did, was my idea, he supported me, but it was me who really pushed myself to have a better life. I have always been a fighter, fighter for my life, and now fighter for a better life. I have a lot of determation, always have. I have always been able to function very well in spite of my problems.
**** I'm glad you're a fighter. Me too. I have managed to maintain almost a straight-A average in school while dealing with all this, and I have gotten a job, and joined this group. I have made so many improvements in my life. My T helped me and pushed me to make some of them, but it was all my decision and my effort that made them happen. I'm really proud of myself about that (at least some of the time, except when I'm depressed and forget all those accomplishments).
> But yeah, I still have some self esteem problems, I think I am too fat, but I am doing something about it. Most people have some self esteem challenges. I know even my T does.
**** Definitely. I haven't met anyone without self-esteem issues. Mine are just not at the point where I have them fixed enough for my comfort yet. I still have problems asking for birthday presents (a recent issue because I turn 21 soon) because I don't feel worthy of gifts. So still working on that. I can't force myself to believe differently. It takes lots of positive self-talk.
> I guess one thing to keep in mind, and maybe you know this already. But it was ME who changed, my T helped me, but I did what it taked for me. I believe we each have to dig deep inside of us to make it happen.
**** Yeah, definitely. I am working sooo hard. I tell my T sometimes when he pushes me that there's only so hard I can work. I feel like I am making changes at the speed of light. It seems like every time I turn around I have made some big change in my life, it seems like. My T has helped so so much, but no, he definitely hasn't done it for me, as much I sometimes wish he could have.
But only when we are truely ready. Our T's can't fix us, but we can. So I don't know if that helps or not, but remember we are all different.
**** Yeah. I really am ready. It's been a long process, but I am ready, and I am working so hard right now. Hopefully it will all be worth it in the end, as I don't want to spend the rest of my life as miserable as it might be if I didn't do this work. And when I feel like I'm a failure at life, I try to remind myself I'm only 20 (soon 21) and so really I have the rest of my life to make it absolutely the best I want it to be. It's not quite that simple in reality, but sometimes reminding myself of that helps. Sometimes not.
> If you haven't been through desensation therapy yet for your PTSD, the symptoms will probably still occure. But I treated the deep issues of the causes, and I no longer have the disorder.
*** I have not done EMDR, but we work on the issues all the time. It comes and goes once in a while, but it's not as bad as it has been. I'm happy for you that you no longer have it. I was told once that I was over my trauma, before I met this T, but that T knew nothing about me. I think that just encouraged me to hide the trauma away and not talk about it.
But it is painful work. I am not on any meds, nor did I need any. I think some have to be somewhat stable to even go into this intense therapy sometimes with the help of drugs.
**** Definitely. I am stable - I think a lot of any unstableness I feel comes from doing the work, not anything biologically inherent in me.
> So don't compare yourself to others, because you really don't know their whole story, and it will only make you feel bad. Does this help?
**** Well, that's easier said than done, as I have an issue where I always compare myself to anyone and everyone. Yet another thing to work on. It does help to hear your thoughts. It's just that the work gets so complicated sometimes, I just wish someone could give me the answers on how to find the quick way out of all the pain. You must remember those excruciatingly painful times when you thought it might never go away. That's why I'm so interested in how you were able to do it so quickly.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:748699
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/748910.html