Posted by Dinah on April 6, 2007, at 10:26:51
In reply to Re: trigger, posted by DisTraught on April 6, 2007, at 4:11:48
Thanks everyone.
I think the main way my therapist helped was not when he was trying to give me advice, but when something I said offhandedly made him angry on my account, and he finally "got" what I have been trying to say. That I'm really stuck in a nearly impossible situation at work, and that my efforts to make it workable haven't worked.
That's the second or third time it's happened. That I try to tell him something and he offers solutions, then I say something that I really don't think is a big deal and he finally understands what I've been trying to say all along.
To their credit tho, I heard yesterday that they are trying at work to take my pleas into account.
My therapist did point out to me my extreme reaction to negative feedback. He sat very calmly and quietly said things a boss might say in a "needs to improve" type meeting. My blood pressure rose with the role playing even. He thinks it harks back to a critical mother. I think he maybe hasn't been listening too well. My mother wasn't overly critical, and while my father might have been critical in a way, his underlying love and approval shone through his words.
It's more that being the good girl, the smart girl, is so much a part of my self image that any threats to either of those aspects is more than I can bear. My work has been a threat to both for a long time, and it's not entirely my fault. Admittedly as I started to fail, I also started to act in ways consistent with expecting to fail or fearing to fail, and therefore failed more.
Anyway, it's not that my therapist thinks it's bad for me to quit so much as he doesn't think I should quit while I'm so upset.
Soooo, I probably won't be around too much (hopefully) until I do what it is I've been ordered to work on nonstop. Even though I'm guaranteed failure in it.
poster:Dinah
thread:746885
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/747493.html