Posted by Daisym on April 3, 2007, at 15:28:25
In reply to is therapy really useful?, posted by wishingstar on April 3, 2007, at 12:56:15
I think you have to choose to change your session structure. It helps if you have someone IRL to process your weekly crud with - and save the stuff you can't say to anyone else to process with your therapist. For example, when I started therapy, I would talk about fights with my husband. But I would tell my best friend about the fight - the he said, she said stuff -- and then in therapy I'd say the scary stuff - like "I don't understand why I let him treat me this way." So we'd talk about why I was such a wimp and how I could begin to change that. Friends would simply say, "don't let him" as if I hadn't already thought of that. Therapy made me look at myself.
I almost never go in with day-to-day stuff. Sometimes, especially if something big is happening or something really stressful, but I've chosen to use my therapy as a place to explore the past and my own inner world. I have lots of insights myself too, but when I share these, it confirms things, and I feel heard.
Yesterday and today I shared some old stuff with my therapist that was very hard and very shameful. He helped me reframe it, even though intellectually I already had, but he believed what he was telling me, he didn't just know it from a book. And he told me that I was safe and that he would help me stay safe. Again, I already know that, but he made me believe it.
I guess this is my (very) long winded way of saying that therapy can be very helpful but you have to figure out how to use your time. If the most helpful thing is to process the week's events or deal with crisis behaviors - then do that. If it is to figure out your own triggers or behavior antecedents - then do that. It is kind of like making yourself sit down and start talking because you only have 50 minutes. If you use 15 on small talk and warming up, you only really have 35 minutes sessions.
All that said, I think I'd be horrible at 1x a week therapy, at least at this stage. I hear how hard it is for you too. I wish the "norm" was 2x a week for everyone.
poster:Daisym
thread:746540
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070324/msgs/746570.html