Posted by TherapyGirl on March 26, 2007, at 19:57:54
I wrote the below to give my T this week in honor of our 22 years together. I'd appreciate your comments.
As far as the gift goes, I loved the idea of weaving something, but I just couldn't pull it off. So I ordered her a Shona stone Mother and Child Infinity sculpture (thanks for the idea, Dinah). I haven't given up on the weaving forever, just for now. I may try to work on something between now and Christmas.
Here's the letter:
Dear T:
This month marks 22 years that I have known you -- half my life. So it seems like a good time to take a moment to thank you for all that you've given me, not least of which is a life.
I was 22 when I came to you, but emotionally just a preschooler. I'm still not completely sure why you didn't just give up on me those first few years -- God knows many others did. When I sat in almost total silence for YEARS, you sat with me -- encouraging me to talk, but never trying to force me to.
When I constantly drove by your house, you figured out before I did that my sense of safety was directly proportional to my nearness to you. Even though you occasionally got annoyed with me over it (and who wouldn't?), you never once threatened to throw me out or call the police. When I saw myself as an insane stalker, you saw the terrified little girl I was.
When I called you incessantly because it was the only time I could make the words come out, you put appropriate limits in place, but you also took or returned an amazing number of my calls and you got me through the really awful times, as you continue to do to this day.
When I had no idea what a safety net was, much less how to make one for myself, you quietly made one for me, then showed me how to stitch one together myself, then held my hand while I made one and now, 22 years later, you continue to help me patch the frayed parts. And you never let go of my hand.
You found the person inside of me who enjoys and craves hugs and cuddling and you made it safe for her to come out and you filled those aching black holes inside her.
You have been kind, warm, generous, gracious, loving, wise and more than I could have dreamed of when I first walked into your office. I don't know what kind of person I would be today if I hadn't had you by my side for the last 22 years, but I suspect I would be in a grave. For all the years I've known you, you've been steadfast in your belief that I could have a better life, be the person I wanted to be, be happy. I mostly didn't believe you until now, but your confidence sustained me.
I can't ever repay you and I can't even thank you adequately for all that you've given me, but please know that I know the effort, hours and heartache you've put into the project of me. I appreciate it and love you more than you will ever know.
Love,
Me
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:744462
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070324/msgs/744462.html