Posted by 10derHeart on March 21, 2007, at 21:15:32
In reply to What DO people say in therapy?, posted by Iwillsurvive on March 21, 2007, at 19:07:48
>>What I write is the stuff I write trying to figger all the weird sh*t thats in my head
I think what you write is mostly what I say, too. I'm just more comfortable talking, which has come over time. Talking, writing, they still hear the words somehow and then see you and your body language, even if you're mostly quiet. Maybe she gets quite a bit from what you don't say and how you don't say it, if that makes sense?
Pretty much anything that comes into my head, unless something has happened that week that upset me, or unless he asks me something specific, which he does sometimes. Lots of times, him asking, and me disliking - maybe intensely - the question (or even just a tone of voice that triggers me) *is* what we end up talking about the rest of the time. I demand to know why he asked me that, accuse him of trying to hurt me, tell him I hate his dumb tone, then get all upset for being so rude as to think he would do anything mean on purpose, then he gets me to say what I'm feeling about all that...I usually do, or if not, cry a little and maybe try to say why I'm getting upset. Sounds all disjointed, but it somehow gets me somewhere.
It also sounds kinda weird and awful writing it out, but in there, it's not. He's very safe and good. We share a sense of humor between us too, and lately I've noticed a few times he can get me laughing while I have tears still on my face. It's really nice being that easy with someone.
Maybe it's not so much what you say. It's the saying. I mean, the process, and for you two, the faxes have become a vital, meaningful part of *your* process. Nothing wrong with that. And your walks - which I think are GREAT (I'm jealous!) - those are ways to communicate, too. My T. says, like some posters here have expressed in one way or another, that when there's trust and a solid relationship, and attachment in longer term therapy, the therapist really *is* the therapy. Scary in so many ways, but IMO, true.
You're doing fine, IWS. Keep doing it. She will be there for you and doesn't mind confusion, I'm sure. Heck, if T's wanted people who felt really clear on most things, they would be very lonley, broke t's, I think.
poster:10derHeart
thread:742993
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070309/msgs/743035.html