Posted by gazo on March 19, 2007, at 17:23:25
In reply to Re: a newbie in love » gazo, posted by Dinah on March 19, 2007, at 16:52:10
thank you for responding! I have to talk about this somewhere or I am going to implode! SOmetimes I do get angry at him, but I can't sustain it. Part of my issue is that I am afraid to express anger to men, and go figure with me having an abusive bF. I am afraid I will lose him even though i know i won't see him again anyway.. it's very confusing. I don't want him to be upset.
The thing that makes me mad isn't his having to leave exactly.. it's him not pushing me to talk about why I was so attached to him. He asked me if I meant romantically and I said no because I was embarrassed.. i didn't know about transferrence. He did. If he had given me some credit he could have explained to me why he was asking and that it happened to people. That would have made sense to me. So, I get mad because he didn't give me any credit and he held me at arm's length because he knwe it might be cut short.
I am completely fascinated with a poster from here... Jadah. I can't get enough. I have always known that my feelings were unrealistic and probably some sort of sumbolism or something. But to hear someone actually lived out the fantasy? Wow. It put things in a whole new realm for me.
would i sleep with him if things happened the way they did for her? Damn straight. I know I would. Would I try to initiate that? No. I don't think about him in a sexual way really, even though I would jump at the chance to sleep with him. I don't picture him as a father figure either.
I have no idea what he really represents to me, I just know some of the issues that have probably started it.
I imagine spending time with him in other situations. I imagine walking and tlaking about just stuff. I imagine conversations with him. That last bit is very helpful actually because the imaginary T is able to handle issues better.. I do know it's all still me but it makes it easier to mull over things by pretending to talk to him about it in my head.
poster:gazo
thread:742197
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070309/msgs/742224.html