Posted by Daisym on March 2, 2007, at 23:45:51
In reply to Once again, a transference question, posted by bailey777 on March 2, 2007, at 17:18:15
Usually transference is the term used to refer to feelings that orginated or "belong" to another person but are being put on someone or something else. In a sense they are "old" feelings.
What you are describe sound like genuine feelings for your therapist, even if there are some transferencial elements. It *is* possible to hold both here-and-now feelings as well as old feelings simultaneously.
Talking about your feelings can be helpful in a couple of ways. First, bringing everything you feel into the open can lessen the intensity and anxiety around it. Together you can explore why you feel what you feel and what you might fantasize would happen. Fantasies can provide a lot of information about what is happening in your unconscious. And talking about why it is hard to talk about can illuminate things as well.
For me, besides being hugely embarrassed, I was afraid my therapist would be angry that I was so presumptuous as to develop these feelings. And I was sure he would be horrified at the thought of someone like me caring for him. And yes, I figure I was patient #9999 to say, "I think I love you." The truth was he was sweet and gentle and told me he was honored. That therapy love didn't always happen and way less people than you think ever share these feelings with their therapist. And the fact that I was afraid he'd be mad told us lots about how I valued myself and what I had to bring to any relationship.
I don't know much about your therapist. But my guess is that she won't just dismiss your feelings as "oh that's just transference." Depending on her orientation, she might not want to explore them in depth, but I believe you'll find it beneficial to talk about them.
Good luck with this.
poster:Daisym
thread:737762
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/737873.html