Posted by ElaineM on January 25, 2007, at 23:26:44
In reply to Re: Friday's Meeting, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 21, 2007, at 0:59:51
((((((philyra, LL, caraher)))) Just realized I hadn't said thanks for the support. I thought it may be difficult for anyone to think my T did make a good first step. But you did.
I know I'm not seeing him right now because I think he's the best T for me. He does have his moments when he's amazing and normal, and like LadyT, and does help. Like, this week I didn't get the greatest news from one of my specialists, and he helped calm me down so much. He asked so many questions, and how it made me feel. He helped me write down the questions I forgot to ask, cause I was too emotional during the appointment. And he's helping me figure out what to do now. [Actually, this week he's been more helpful than the past few months combined] However, I do know that "sometimes" is not enough, and that "consistency" is very important. I will make sure that the next T I work with will have that quality.
>>>>I guess I still don't understand how this helps Elaine, except that you no longer feel like you must provide supportive counselling.
I still do that. We spoke a little bit cause he had an inperson fight with his Ex regarding the new man she's seeing. But it was very brief, and then the focus went back to me. But soon his T will probably handle all of that.
But it helps me cause I think when his feelings lessen (hopefully by sharing them with his T and getting feedback) he wouldn't be as upset by the idea of me not seeing him as much. It'll be easier for me to leave then. Plus, if his romantic feelings tone down (or disappear) then I could still speak to him occasionally, as just a friend. I wouldn't be afraid of him then. Cause I'd never walk away completely - at least not right away.Actually, ever since he told me how he's started to be honest with his T, I've had much kinder feelings for him. Like, proudness, and appreciativeness, or something. It almost feels like some of the frustration/fear/and occasionally disgust, are being replaced with "alright-ness". Which doesn't say much, but I've started not being afraid to be in the office with him anymore (unless he starts to move suddenly). I think his next meeting with his T will go even better. If everything stalls again, then I'll have to make a decision then. But I think that having his friend (who could identify somewhat) to talk to will help the situation even more. The more outlets he has, the less he'll think he needs me.
I've cancelled tomorrow cause I'm really not well, and he was supportive (while still being concerned), and offered to help me get to the doctors or ER if I needed (cause I'm having trouble walking), but he didn't freak out or anything about me needing to miss our time together. I think he's gonna change.
Thanks for all the support everyone has given me since I've first brought up my issues. I really appreciate having had you all to unload this on, before I had the guts to tell anyone else. I'll always remember you ((((((listeners)))))).
thank you.
blove EL
poster:ElaineM
thread:721410
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/726571.html