Posted by Reggie BoStar on January 1, 2007, at 5:41:07
In reply to That body image issue again, posted by Dinah on December 31, 2006, at 15:43:58
Hi Dinah,
Wow, this is a tough topic.I have image problems like that too, though over the years it's become more of an issue of not wanting to be noticed in public. I used to worry about being attractive to women, but that went away when nothing happened for 20 years. Now I just don't want to be stared or laughed at for being a lardo.
That's right, I'm youe standard male fatboy. Although, I think I got here not so much by overeating as by being lethargic most of the time from depression. That and the associated meds have made my energy level 0 - and this can pack on the pounds, even if you don't eat much. Age helps too.
Needless to day, there are media images for men as well, and someone like me is going to wind up on the losing end compared to some of those guys. Not only that, but we have the women's media image to contend with too, because these are always the types of women that we're programmed to be attracted to. Obese men, on the other hand, not only do not "get that girl", they're also a dumping ground for all sorts of other negative stereotypes. Usually it's something obvious, like being the comic foil, or the disgusting overeater at the beginning of a horror flick who's always the first one to go.
Sometimes it's subtle. Roger Ebert was always fond of reporting this in his movie reviews, evidently because it pushed his buttons too. He used to say things like "in any scene in a suspense movie where a number of men are talking around a table, the overweight one is always lying." I started paying more attention after that, and sure enough, in all kinds of movies even the secondary characters were doing negative things if they were fat. Amazing.
Sorry to rant. I had to pipe in on this topic because I took a shower about an hour ago and took the usual pains not to look at myself in the mirror. That's how sold I am. Moley, I won't even go to a public beach. It controls my life to the point where I can't have the kind of fun that a lot of people have.
Appreciate him for being supportive at least some of the time, and being there for you when you're dealing with episodes of hypersexuality. Trust me, it's better than nothing, which is what some of us have if we're so imaged down we can't even go out in crowds without trying to keep out of sight.
Sorry for that rant, too. Obviously I need to get off my butt and do something, too.
That sounded easy, didn't it?
Right.
Best wishes to all for the New Year,
Reggie BoStar
poster:Reggie BoStar
thread:717920
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/718121.html