Posted by ElaineM on September 24, 2006, at 20:39:24
In reply to Re: Rambling (up to Thurs.) ***trigger?, posted by Seeking Peace on September 23, 2006, at 13:05:46
Seeking Peace: I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond, but the "new" ED medical thing has been bad and I can't think at all. But I was so touched that you said you registered to show that others care. Thank you :') ( and you have a lovely name)
There is more to the story (from Friday) which is relevant.... I just can't see him as a predator. I've written out what happened but I don't think it's proper to put on the board. I've been meaning to try and re-write it but I just can't concentrate right now from being in so much pain. But I feel like I'm holding a piece of the story back and that you all deserve to know cause it may change people's opinion.
I can't contact LadyDoc because I can't use campus services in any way now -- not even email. Plus, she told me before (even when I was still seeing her) that I can't use email cause of confidentiality and internet security and stuff I can't remember.
I am dying to know what LadyT really thinks of me. But I couldn't mention any of this to her because she would just ask, "Why don't you talk to T about this?". She knows I'm seeing him, knows who he is, and I don't know how I'd explain anything to her with mentioning all this stuff. And I think that before she talked to me about more then my medical problems and quick generic updates, she'd want to talk to T to make sure it was OK. Plus, I'm a little scared of her right now for some reason. :'( I'm too backed into a corner.
I've been in so much pain this weekend and I'm going to have to go back Monday cause these are dangerous symptoms. I'm just soooo spent. I really have nothing left. I've been surprised that I've tried as much as I have already.
I will try and post the Friday update when I can but whenever my body is in trouble my mind turns off. Plus, I've been having a really hard time with some of the mental stuff coming up lately. I'll see what they do with me tomorrow. I always terrified that they'll keep me, but also want to just collapse and die there. It's all too much now. And I'm hoping that CC (or other place) will email me tomorrow.
It helps to know that others care. You didn't have to say so, and it means alot.
ELps. i can only handle making one post now and was going to go in order but LL's wouldn't show up on my computer. Sorry Li, I didn't want to seem rude.
poster:ElaineM
thread:687876
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/688847.html