Posted by alexandra_k on September 16, 2006, at 22:23:44
In reply to Psychiatric hospital records, posted by vwoolf on September 16, 2006, at 12:49:42
I've seen mine. Well... Most of them.
Usually I don't have a t at the time I request them. Requesting them is typically about... My trying to figure out why I got terminated and why they won't give me a t :-(
So they photocopy them and I go in to collect them. And I take them away with me. I've still got most of them. Stored back in NZ. I used to read them when I was feeling particularly massochistic.
It is hard reading them...
The quality of the notes can be quite atrocious in places. Judgemental. Sometimes it is clear that the person has confused me with someone else. There used to be another patient and my first name was her last name. I have chunks of her notes in my folder. I wonder if she has chunks of mine lol. Actually that is atrocious given privacy and co...
There are incidents I don't remember too. Write ups about attempts. Justifications for moves to seclusion and strip searches and... Anyway, I read them when I am feeling particularly massochistic, yeah.
Why?
Why do you want to read them?
I wanted them because I wanted to know what people really thought. I found out. It was not a pleasant experience. It gave me some pointers, though. I was better able to deal with new clinicians because I had some idea of the judgements they were likely to make. I was better able to get them to ASSESS rather than assume certain things about me. I wouldn't have thought to do that before reading my notes. I wouldn't have had any idea someone would have made those assumptions about me.
I wanted to remember... So much of it I couldn't remember. I thought there might be some key in there. About what was wrong with me. But there wasn't. I guess I didn't remember that stuff... For a jolly good reason. As I write this it half comes back... It is stored in NZ... I would read sometimes and it would send me into crying jags for days. It is still there... I'm sure I'll read it again...
But I do think it is a bit... Massochistic. I don't know. I know I was mistreated in hospital. All it did was... Get me reliving the trauma.
If your t goes with you...
I guess you have someone to process it with.
I never had that.
Maybe it would have helped...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:686571
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/686684.html