Posted by happyflower on July 28, 2006, at 12:33:58
In reply to Re: I really am sorry and I am really scared.. » happyflower, posted by ElaineM on July 28, 2006, at 10:14:39
I feel a little better. I did get an appointment in 10 days, what a relief, I was scared to even ask. I thought he was taking a whole week off, but he is working on the Monday of that week I thought he was gone. Well that is better than 3 weeks.
He could tell right away I had a lot on my mind. But I couldn't get to what was really bothering me until the last 15 minutes. I think he knew what I was doing because he kept changing the subject then finally I just came right out and said what was on my mind.He did agree that my mom is a threat and we talked about safety issues that I needed to do especially over that one weekend. We have talked about this stuff before on what I need to do physically to stay safe.
But the emotional safe that I need that normally would get from my husband isn't there. I told him I feel all alone and I just want to hide from the world right now. He did agree that emotionally my DH is not helping me deal with this or anything else for over the last year. He doesn't belive my DH would put me in physical danger like if my mom showed up at my door, which I agreed. I guess one thing is that I am not physically alone, so maybe that is better than being totally alone. Well we basicaly ran out of time by then.
He could see that I am not thinking clearly and my concentration is off. I told him I didn't want to go the gym because I wanted to be alone. He said he knows how much exercise means to me so I needed to try at least do it outside away from the gym.
We talked about my writings, and he said poetry is meant to get a response. We talked about internet groups and how you just don't know who you are dealing with out there. He said getting my feelings out is good, and not to feel so bad if others finds my writings too controversial. I wouldn't tell him where my writing are. LOLSo I guess all and all, I feel a little better, I am relieved that I can see him in 10 days instead of 3 weeks especially before visiting my MIL from Hell. LOL
We talked a little about insurance coverage and I told him I wanted to be done with therapy by the end of the year. He said maybe, then I said well who knows.
Thanks everyone, it feels good just to get some of this off my chest. ;-)
Hugs,
Happyflower
poster:happyflower
thread:671224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/671427.html