Posted by ElaineM on July 26, 2006, at 21:07:40
In reply to Re: HELP WITH ABANDONMENT, posted by iarosepetal on July 26, 2006, at 19:12:40
> ...although I may seek some basic therapy for my depression, anxiety, and grief issues in order to function in the real world, that I will never again share with another therapist my deepest self as I did with this person.
RosePetal: I'm glad that you have not written off the idea of therapy entirely. Perhaps, at some point, feelings of deep trust could slowly develope with someone else. I would never pressure you to rush into feelings like that again -- I don't think that that would be good either. Do you think that you would've felt such a powerful connection if he had been a female -- like, was the fact that he was a male T offering this primal bonding the thing that makes it hurt sooo terribly, or would you feel the same with a lady T? I always wonder if people think that the gender of their T changes the potential for connection, or even hurt. Sorry, I don't mean to pry. I understand that you don't want to get into it too much.
>>>I doubt that I would meet with him and my present therapist together - there's too much at stake surrounding our previous employer that I will take no risk in any harm coming to him. That probably doesn't make sense to you all, but you'd need to know the situation - which I cannot post.
Rosepetal, it makes perfect sense to me -- especially if you were professional collogues (or something like that). Even without explaining further, I can understand that you would still not want to hurt him, even though you are hurting so much yourself right now. It is hard to turn off love, or caring, when it's no longer technically appropriate (or ever was). I'm trying to be that robotic myself, and it's pretty difficult. Though it hardly seems fair that there is so much disparity in both your levels of suffering. I'm sorry I have no advice for you. But you don't have to justify your feelings to us.
>>I'd like to think that if we could try to finish where we left off, that everything would be okay, we would both learn great things and discover the abyss of feelings, but I may be wrong. I don't know anything anymore.
No wonder your world seems upside-down. You're in a situation where you feel you've been throughly shattered, but also have the "duty" to remain strong, and secretive (in a way).
I'm worried about you having another appointment with him. I'm not saying to not go, I'm just concerned. I don't want you to feel even more hurt. Let us know how your meeting goes. Whatever happens, (even if you think we wouldn't get it) I promise I will -- and I think alot of others would too.
take care, Elaine
poster:ElaineM
thread:670174
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/670906.html