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Re: Job fiasco - falling apart

Posted by Daisym on July 15, 2006, at 12:38:53

In reply to Job fiasco - falling apart, posted by pegasus on July 14, 2006, at 22:35:20

Peg,

I'm so sorry this is happening. Your brain hasn't abandoned you. You were slammed and you are reacting in a protective mode so your brain is busy in its "fight or flight" response. Essentially you are working from your limbic center instead of your cortex. So take some deep breathes, do something concrete, like a puzzle or solitare or Soduku...and then think about your options.

Have you talked to your Human Resource folks? It sure seems to me that they are putting you on a "mommy track" and that isn't legal. Are they trying to force you to quit? Ask to see a copy of your file...have there been complaints or notes you are unaware of?

Have you talked to your bossess boss? I would go in and make a case for yourself and I would talk about how surprised you are that the company would treat a valued employee like this. Make it clear that you are upset not only about the job change but about how the changes came about too. Lay out what you wrote here...more experience, more education, a track record...what more do they want?

Most importantly, try to get some inside info on this other person taking the lead job. Did she fanagle this? Or is she going to feel bad about how it happened? Resist the urge to "save" her, after all they gave her this job instead of you. It isn't your job to train her, even if you already know the answers. And try to be open to some creative changes, it will make you look more like the team player you are.

Work stuff sucks. It hits us in that vulnerable soft self-esteem spot and effects everything. Don't worry about your daughter either. Part of good parenting is showing our kids that things can be hard and upsetting and we live through them.

The hardest decision for you might be one simple question: "Do you want to keep working there?" If the answer is no, get your resume together and quietly start looking. Don't knee jerk quit. Call the client on whose project you just finished. Or call your competitor. But I agree that you have been disrespected. It might be time for a big change.

Good luck.
Daisy

 

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