Posted by orchid on June 19, 2006, at 19:18:28
In reply to Crash, posted by Tamar on June 19, 2006, at 18:56:20
> I’m so sad.
>
> I wish it would go away.
>
> I want to work things out with Bert and I’m less and less sure it’s possible. I think I need to find a way of accepting his distance or convincing him to stop pushing me away.
>
> I don’t think it’s going to happen.
>
> :(
> :(
> :(
>
>I feel for you. It is extremely painful, frustrating and heart breaking when Ts don't put the effort to help us out isn't it? I mean, it is just a little bit of effort on their part - that is all it takes really - take 5 - 10 mins to think about the particular client's issues and way of relating and adapt their style to help the clients the most. But some of them just don't do it. IT is too much for them for some reason, and there is nothing in the world that we can do to change that.
But the thing is, I think you perhaps know by now, seeing people around here, Ts don't really change all that much. Great Ts remain that way forever, and good Ts remain that way, and fair Ts and so on. Nothing we do really changes that.
Did you see what I had said in my babble mail to you about your T? I think it is really time for you to seek out a better one. If you want, you can choose a male T - that will make the hurt less.
But unfortunately, I do think, that trying to work it out with your T will probably frustrate you only more and more. But there is one way, where you can console yourself. You don't have to give him up forever. Just take a break from therapy with him, and find someone else. And you need not even mention it to your current T if you don't feel like. And then if that doesn't work out with the new T, you can just return back to your current T. I feel atleast, if you interview couple of more Ts, it will really give you a good insight onto what is available around.
What do you think?
poster:orchid
thread:658846
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/658857.html