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Re: Dear ME trigger » llrrrpp

Posted by llrrrpp on June 1, 2006, at 12:22:19

In reply to Re: Dear ME trigger, posted by llrrrpp on June 1, 2006, at 11:48:54

Hey, you stupid F*ck
you're so nasty
you're such a *fu8kin8 loser
there's a really high building.
you know how to get up there
there's a busy hwy. you can hop off the overpass.
it's a 20 minute walk. you don't even have to look both ways before you cross the streets. run us over! please, run us over.

Remember how I made you say mean things? Remember how shamed you felt to hurt her? Remember what an awful child you are, to desert your dying father and wish him dead? Remember how you wanted him to suffer in his death? Don't you feel awful? Isn't it fantastic. You ungrateful, immoral child. Your heart is rotten. You don't even know what love is. You hate your father. even as he lives and recovers you wished he had died, for sheer convenience. A good daughter would want her father to live long and prosper. You're so evil. You want him dead. You think he's nasty. Don't you? He's ruined your mom's life, and you want to set her free. You want him to suffer for his life of sin. And you gloated at his pain. You wanted your mom to suffer being his caregiver, because she wasn't strong enough to protect you from his rages. And you feel guilty now, because his rage is gone. the brain damage has melted his cursed rage. Now he's as cuddly as a nasty old man can be. and you feel guilty, because you still can't love him. you find his person repulsive. and you don't know why. That's my job. As the dark voice, I tell you what to feel. I don't tell you why. Who cares why. just enjoy the anger, the sadness, the guilt, the shame. Because you deserve it. You lousy, rotten, miserable, unethical, unattractive, lazy, foul, inferiour f*ck. Oh yeah. you're fat. even if you get skinny, you'll be fat on the inside. your entire life.

You know why you love me? Because when people say nice things to you like "congratulations on your fellowship" "I like your hair today" "you played well at your concert" you can neutralize those compliments with MY voice. haha. "you stupid b*tch, you should have a tenure-track professorship like your peers. you haven't done good work in 6 months, at least" "your hair is thin and oily. it will look bad the rest of your life, even if it accidentally looks good today" "ignorant listener is tone deaf. didn't hear my squeak, must have not really been listening"

That's why you need me. It's to face the world. The world that's too kind to you, you unworthy wretch.


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poster:llrrrpp thread:650669
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060526/msgs/651466.html