Posted by orchid on May 30, 2006, at 22:46:04
Dear Orchid
What do I say to you? Hmmm... What do you want me to say? If I said I liked you, and that I always did, would you feel ok with that? Would that be too much for you to handle?
I know I have let you down many times. When I have been overly critical of you, trying to force my logic onto you, told you you had no right to feel this way, that way etc. I have always thought you should match my expectations - whatever crap that I listened to others who said whatever else some one else told them is good. But I never listened to you. I never asked you what you want - atleast for a long long time. I kept trying to make you better, and kept rejecting what you were trying to tell me - but I am sorry, I didn't really know better at that time. I am sorry for letting you go through the abuse - I didn't know that there was a way I could have protected you. Nor did I think you deserved protection. I thought you deserved all the hurt and punishment and always thought you were a very very bad person. But maybe you are not as bad as I had thoguht, and maybe you didn't deserve any punishment.
I try to forgive you. I always will try - forever. And I hope to take care of you as best as I know. And together we will walk hand by hand.
Hugs to you Orchid.
poster:orchid
thread:650745
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060526/msgs/650745.html