Posted by Daisym on May 5, 2006, at 23:22:36
We have turned into a whole family in therapy. Is that weird? My husband has found a therapist and has now seen her twice. He thinks she is good and he already feels better. He said he understands what is happening to me now (My own therapist laughed and said, "Could someone tell me!") and he knows what he needs to work on. I'm coping with his going better, though I still find myself upset at times.
I, myself, feel very lucky to have the support of two very good therapists. They are very different but both are so available and so kind...and right now they are propping me up in different ways.
My son's therapist is available by both email and phone. He is focused on helping my son stay out of the middle of "those darn parents." They have developed a whole strategy to "duck the flying t*rds." It might sound weird but it is the perfect metaphor for a 14 yr old boy. I have long been impressed with the work they are doing, but I didn't expect my son's therapist to extend himself to me for added support in the way he has. He reminds me to take care of myself and has been great about advice with how much to share...or not. I worry a little that this is unfair to my husband but the truth is that I have developed a relationship with this therapist and my husband has never even met him. The kid has been going to therapy for 3 1/2 years and dad's never met him....
My own therapist is being super supportive. He tells me he is in this with me and that just because I found the strength to do this, I don't have to be strong all the time and manage everything on my own. I'm so relieved. I get scared about what comes next and how tough I'm supposed to be. Somehow I've convinced myself that I have to give up therapy as I'm "giving up" so many other things. It is twisted and all mixed up with the younger parts of me.
I'm sort of floored that even with all of this going on, I'm still in parts and pieces in therapy. There are tons of flashbacks and I'm needy and clingy. We've been talking about how moving out and taking a stand represents so many things that should have been done when I was a child. There is so much anger unleashed, and I'm terrified that I will dump it out on my therapist and cause him to back away when I need him most. I can't tell anymore if it is old or current or both. I just know that it is scary.
I have no idea why I'm posting all of this. I guess I don't want to "give up" you guys too. I'm trying so hard to stay connected when all I really want to do is hide under my bed. Don't let me stay there too long, OK? Someone promise to come and drag me out.
poster:Daisym
thread:640492
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060505/msgs/640492.html