Posted by Dinah on April 25, 2006, at 20:04:54
In reply to Re: I kicked the rock, posted by madeline on April 25, 2006, at 19:49:06
It felt good to get a reaction from him.
But as I walked out of the room and looked back, he wasn't smiling and his arms were at least metaphorically crossed and he refused to answer whether things would be ok the way he usually does. He answered by saying it was up to me if things would be ok. And I realized I wouldn't see him for a week and he was going out of town. I've always made a point of parting on good terms with someone who's going away on a trip. So I'm a teensy bit frantic. And I don't know if he's punishing me by not answering my calls, but I can't call him again without being a real pest. Well, a bigger pest, because I think I've already crossed into pest with three phone calls.
He threatened to end the session because I was hitting myself. Not hard. Just hitting myself. And he threatened to end the session and asked what I would do if my son was doing that. And I burst into tears and said that what I'd do and have done is something he couldn't do. Take him and hold him and tell him I knew how much he must be hurting, and I was sorry, but that I loved him too much to see anyone hurt him - even himself. And my therapist muttered something about holding me with his presence and knowing that I was hurting and not being able to tolerate watching me hurt myself.
I think I make a better mom than he does. :(
poster:Dinah
thread:636692
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060422/msgs/637034.html