Posted by All Done on April 17, 2006, at 12:52:05
In reply to Re: A dream and needing my T, posted by Daisym on April 13, 2006, at 20:31:56
> Besides the obvious symbols in the dream, can you remember a time when you've felt like you felt in this dream? You felt comforted and yet really nervous. Knowing what i know about your mom, are the nerves about her "catching" you hugging? It makes sense that you worry so much about your needs, you were made to believe that you could never get comfort from your dad, due to your Mom's fears.
You hit the nail on the head with this, Daisy. I didn't even realize how much it felt that way to me, but my mom had a lot of restrictions when I was younger. It wasn't even just with my dad. There were certain books I wasn't supposed to read, certain kids I couldn't befriend, and mainly, certain "ways" I wasn't supposed to act because that would evoke feelings in others that weren't right. She even tried to tell me I couldn't have anymore sleepovers with my female cousin (my best friend) of the same age after we were about ten because it was inappropriate.
And, if she caught me with anything I wasn't supposed to have - like a Judy Blume book, for example - she would take it and then wait to confront me about it. So, I would know it was gone and that I was in trouble, but I wouldn't know when I was actually going to get reprimanded. Sometimes, she would drop me off at school for the day and say, "there's something we need to talk about after you get home today." She would never tell me what it was, so I'd have to wait all day knowing I was going to get yelled at. Either that or an inappropriate discussion about the birds and the bees was coming.
Sorry...didn't mean to digress. I'm just remembering that nervous feeling all too well, I guess.
> It strikes me that you are in bed to start out with, not in his office, not in a chair, but in bed. And he needs to first help you up, carefully, using a towel (was this to protect him...or you?) and then you got a hug. Are you waking up to a new life, that includes getting your needs met?
Like I told annierose, I didn't talk about the dream as much as I would have liked to because I waited so long to tell him. But I did and now it's out there. I imagine we'll take a closer look at it at my next session. He was glad I was using the word need more, though. I told him my mom stopped me from doing a lot of things that, as an adult, I realize I needed for a healthy development.
> Your therapist is very special. Keep him. :)
Thanks, Daisy. I think so, too. :)
poster:All Done
thread:632666
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060406/msgs/634133.html