Posted by fallsfall on March 26, 2006, at 22:29:12
In reply to Re: Left T - still can't find a T:(, posted by kerria on March 26, 2006, at 21:31:56
It sounds like you are working very hard to find a therapist. I'm sorry you are in this position. I know that it is particularly hard to find good therapists for DID. I'm a firm believer that referrals are important - your chances of finding a good DID therapist from the phone book aren't so good. So here's a suggestion. Don't know if it would work...
Find someone who is very happy with their therapist (a friend? relative? neighbor? or get the best recommendation you can from a Dr. who knows you). Call that therapist and ask if they would be willing to help you find a therapist. This way, you can call someone who wouldn't see you as a patient (like the therapist of a good friend). Alternatively, do you know any therapists socially? If you have respect for their professional skills, you could use them, too. So at this point, your goal is not to find YOUR new therapist, just to find the best therapist that you can identify.
Call them on the phone and ask if they have a couple of minutes to give you some referrals. Give them a 5 minute summary of what your problems are. A good therapist is connected with others in the profession. They will know that So-and-So works with only easy cases, but that This-other-person really likes to work with the more challenging long term cases. You are hoping that this person can get you closer to the group of therapists who LIKE to work with us more challenging patients. It is possible that you would need to schedule a session with this first therapist in order to get them to give you enough time to get a good referral - it would be worth it.
So then you call whoever they suggest, and you do exactly the same thing. Ask THEM for a recommendation of who LIKES to work with DID. If THEY LIKE to work with DID, you will be able to tell that, and you can schedule an interview with them. If not, they might be one step closer to knowing who DOES like to work with DID.
The hope is that with each referral, you get closer to the group of therapists in your area who have experience with your kind of issues.
It may take a couple of rounds of phone calls. But understand that many therapists don't have the skills or desire to work with more long term patients. And that is just the kind of work they do. But there DO exist therapists who prefer long term patients with more significant issues. In the therapist world, they know who is in which camp. You just have to find an "in" with the right camp for you.
Once you have found the group of people who do want to work with you, then if you keep hearing one name come up, they would be a good one to try.
The goal here is to find the therapist that is a good FIT for you. Someone who likes to work with your kinds of issues. My guess is that maybe 10% of therapists are good with DID - that means that 90% aren't. Don't get discouraged when you talk to that 90% - your 10% is out there, but they are just harder to find. It is worth the effort to find one who is a good fit.
It sounds like you have the drive and capacity to do this kind of search. It will be worth it. Try to not settle for the first person who will see you. You can interview them, but don't just agree to start work with them just because they are a warm body.
I'm interested in the process of choosing therapists. I'd like to hear how your search goes.
poster:fallsfall
thread:624509
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060325/msgs/624984.html