Posted by B2chica on March 13, 2006, at 10:16:44
crazy week last week.
ok for the last couple weeks there's been this guy at work who is overly touchy-feely. when he sees me he B-lines' it over to me and starts rubbing my shoulders, rubbing my back, hand on thigh...etc. luckily my meds are working otherwise i'd probably curl up in a coma ball and never come out.
but i feel SO uncomfortable when this happens. it started a couple years ago and i don't see him that often, but he's in IT and when i do see him it's usually for a few days in a row. well, he's been around for the last 2 weeks. doing this.i finally told my DBT group, and the leader suggested i talk with my T about it. (mind you not really giving me any advice other than that.)
anyway, last wednesday i told T about this and kind of eluded to that my boundries s#ck and i dont' know if i'm overreacting or underreacting...well, her problem is she doesn't quite know how to act around me. it's VERY apparent. and i think my old T must have told her that i'm sensitive to hurting others. well when i told her about this work stuff, i commented that if i would see him doing this to others that i would be the first one up to stop it, but for me i just don't feel worth it. like i need to 'take one for the team' sort of mentality.
Anyway, she said a few things at first, but basiccally said that because i haven't said anything to him, he probably thinks it's ok to act this way to others. so because i haven't said anything to stop it he's probably doing this to others.i left there feeling horrible. i still didni't know if what he was doing was wrong, i didn't know how to stop it, and *now have the added guilt of being the main cause to him doing this to others.
i left feeling horrible. i barely got any sleep that night cuz i was worrying how i could help these others. luckily i had appt with pdoc the next day. i told him everything.
the first thing he said is that this is typical preditor behavior, secondly that it would only grow worse and i needed to stop it now, and when i asked about the 'others' he was very blunt and said, i don't care about the others, i just care about you, i only have a responsibility to you. and this can't continue.'in that one short sentence. he answered all my questions. it wasn't right for him to do this, i needed to stop it and here's how..., and that i wasn't to blame for others that i can't control what this guy does or doesn't do.
Man i miss my old T. he would have said just like pdoc did only i wouldn't have lost a nights sleep over this. and what if i hadn't seen pdoc? i just don't know.
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:619784
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060312/msgs/619784.html