Posted by James K on February 15, 2006, at 14:16:21
I'm not sure where I am going with this, but I have it in my mind and I want to write it down. I'm making plans to go to this real good treatment place that I was lucky enough to go to about a year or two ago (I can't even do the math) When I was their, I used their literature about thinking and whatever stuff. And it made sense. And I wrote pages of what happened to me and how my mind made these ways of thinking and acting, and what it would take to begin deconstructing these things in my head and put other things in.
And then I got mad. Because my shrink was suck. And she had already resigned and they didn't care about me as "me" just their preconceived notions of who me was. So, I was mad, and I tore it all up, and threw it away and broke some stuff. Now I can't remember what I wrote, or what the plan was. I didn't even want to have a plan. I can't even think there in that part of my brain.
Has anyone ever done something literally or symbolicaly self destructive to their recovery before? How do I not do it again? I don't know. I'm just emotionally preparing to try again. This afternoon I go see my best friend and try to explain it to him. He gets it, but not where i've been at just lately. And he needs to make his wife get it better.
James K
poster:James K
thread:609851
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060211/msgs/609851.html