Posted by muffled on February 2, 2006, at 22:25:45
I like my T. She's real nice. I been going for over a year.I told her all I can remember, even about what an idiot I am and all. And she hasn't rejected me. She continues with the unconditional positive regard. She says she cares about me. She told my sister that she thot I was nice.
This week, and lotsa weeks, but not all the time. Well anyways, its like I want to call her. I want her to tell me I'm OK. That I'm not bad. And I guess that she cares I suppose.
I'm in limbo.
Attached on some level.
Yet completely refusing attachment on another.
And this causes controversy and confusion.
I don't wanto get hurt.
I don't know what my problem is. T says relationships w/people don't usu. go on forever. People move etc.
She says I need to learn to cope in good ways that don't hurt me.
So I don't think I should get attached. But that means I got to ultimately keep my emotions carefully under wraps and never set them free.
But she's not family, I could drop dead. She proly wouldn't come to my funeral. She's never met my IRL kids.
How can she know who I am if she hasn't met my kids?
I send her faxes. I trying to tell her stuff. But I don't think she gets it. And proly neither do I.
This whole stupid writings of mine proly don't make sense.
Proly never do.
I dunno.
I just dunno...............
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:605679
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060131/msgs/605679.html