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Re: T said to keep depression as long as I want it » fairywings

Posted by Dinah on January 21, 2006, at 21:31:54

In reply to Re: T said to keep depression as long as I want it » Dinah, posted by fairywings on January 21, 2006, at 9:36:00

> He's also dealing with big family stuff as well as really bad stuff at the office. Everyone knows about the office stuff bec. it affects everything. It's not something we shouldn't know. I know all of it has to be incredibly stressful.

I'm there now, so I certainly understand. It's hard to be clear on the boundaries (on my part) and not try to take care of him. But we wouldn't really be doing them a favor by letting them do bad therapy because of it, or by altering our reactions because of it. Cutting them a bit of slack for errors, yes. Not confronting them on how what they do makes us feel, or trying to be a "good client", no.

> I'm not sure I understand what you mean by going through all of his interventions and not sticking to them. Maybe that's why I've felt like he's all over the place telling me Jan. is a big time for depression, to maybe it's biological, to mostly just telling me to make a choice, put on a happy face, and b4 I know it I'll feel better.

What I mean is taken by themselves each are tried and true CBT statements and techniques. But they don't taken together form a coherent statement. They're even sort of opposites, or mixed messages. So it feels *to me* like instead of trying a technique and spending time with it, he's throwing a bunch of them at you at once.

I'm not a huge fan of many of these CBT techniques, although they work well with some clients (obviously). My response tends to be sarcastic and rejecting. ("Oh thanks. I hadn't realized that. I'm all better now.") But I know that for other clients it might be an effective intervention.

Walking away is one option. Telling him how you feel and what conclusions you're forming is another.

You know that some of what you're thinking is truth, but some of it might be stuff you're building on to what you know for sure. You know he's stressed. You might be adding that you're a burden to him. You know that he's trying CBT with you. You might be adding that he's sick of you. He does *sound* burned out. But this might or might not be about being burned out.

The only question is whether it's worth a session or two to try to figure it out. I guess that depends on a lot of things.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:601410
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060121/msgs/601649.html