Posted by Voce on January 8, 2006, at 1:58:39
In reply to Ramblings, posted by Voce on January 6, 2006, at 17:06:05
At times I'm overwhelmed by a wild tenderness for him, a sense of love and gratitude for the sincerty of his person, and how he tried to show me in many small ways that he cared. How he invested energy and much of himself in me; how undivided his attention was; how he was genuinely interested in the small things that made up my life, my relationships, my thoughts and my ramblings, even when they made no sense at all. How he loved me gently, reservedly, and allowed me to love him back and feel safe doing so.
And other times....oh. How angry I am at him for leaving, how spiteful, how I feel that if he stood before me I would deny that I ever knew him well. How it would give me pleasure to hurt him back, just a very small amount, just so that he could know how it feels to love someone and be confronted with coldness and distance. Of course he never loved me the same way I loved him, so I could never make him feel this way. But I hope that sometime, some way, he has been or will be left alone in the same way he left me alone.
poster:Voce
thread:595884
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051229/msgs/596470.html