Posted by fairywings on December 9, 2005, at 13:57:20
In reply to Re: How do you hide it? » fairywings, posted by daisym on December 9, 2005, at 11:55:13
> I think the first time I told I spent most of the weekend in bed. I left the session and threw up. You are dealing with old fear here. Like any poison it makes you sick.
That's the way I feel, so I guess that's what it takes.
>
> This is going to feel harsh, please don't take it that way. And remember I could be projecting totally.I completely appreciate your honesty daisy, it makes me see that even though I feel really yucky and as though I can't drag myself, I have to do it because there are other things that matter.
> Believe me, I understand the Christmas decoration thing. I don't have one up yet. But I have a kid who is excited about Christmas and I will have to find a way to get at least a minimum done. My plan is to have the boys pull stuff out and together we will put it around.
This is a good idea, I am going to try to do this with the family this weekend, but keep it w/in what I can handle putting back.
>I'm shopping on line and baking like crazy! Of course my kids are older so this might not work for you. But I have found that forcing myself to get a little done makes me feel better.
I have done most of my shopping online. I"m so glad I can. I'm going to have the kids bake this weekend, because they like to do that.
> He feels left out and frustrated because he can't fix me. He feels neglected too and therapy is somewhat threatening for him. Saying he shouldn't feel this way is simplistic. He does. So I've tried to stop railing against what I wish he would feel. In the end, I know I can't control his feelings.
I"m sorry there's no energy left daisy, you have so much going on, and so much to deal with, and you have a very realistic attitude about what you can't do, and that you can't change him. I guess that's good to be reminded of now and then.
>But you are asking directly for what you need. You can't do more than that. You can just sometimes push yourself a little to give him what he needs to. And if you can't, you can't. Little things might make a difference - like sitting in the den with him instead of in the bedroom.
Fortunately my husband doesn't feel left out, but he might feel overtaxed, so I will have to push myself to be more available.
>
> It *is* hard to have responsibilities and not feel up to taking care of them. Just remember, if kids know you love them, that goes a long way to cover for whatever else you aren't doing for them. So tell them. Hug them. And let them hug you. Don't you wish we could all just gather together and come over and decorate each other's houses? Life would be so much easier.Thanks daisy, you make things so much more clear.
fw
poster:fairywings
thread:587267
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051206/msgs/587374.html