Posted by Frida on December 8, 2005, at 13:42:36
In reply to Re: Horrible session » daisym, posted by fairywings on December 8, 2005, at 13:26:25
Dear Daisy,
I'm crying after reading your post and the others' responses.
It touches my heart so deeply.It truly is hard :-( But you are talking and little daisy too and you have such a close, true, deep relationship with your T...
I have no words- I so understand what you are sharing, I could have written parts of it myself- the little girl in me is so terrified of getting lost inside forever and not ever ever finding that relief and that "something" missing from back then and from all the times she cried alone and held the pain inside-
I think it does take a long long time- think of how many times we kept it all inside alone-and tried to survive and get through it and get through life with all that going on - and hiding and not telling and craving for comfort and for someone to rescue us that never came :-(
I feel I need to somehow go back to it all, every little moment, everything with my T and have her there with me, truly there, so I can change that horrible pain that was before.
That takes time- I think you're doing wonderful job with your T..it takes time and lots of steps backwards too and baby steps forward.I tell myself that as long as i am aware that sometimes I want that little girl disappear and make her stop telling- she won't die and she won't be lost inside for ever. I am aware that a part of me doesn't want to let her talk and be out- but she does need to-
Your little Daisy needs comfort and love- and it takes time- and it is ok.
I am thinking of you,
sending you comfortFrida
> (((daisy)))
> I'm sorry you're having such a struggle. Is there a adult part of you inside who could care for, love, and soothe the younger part who wants so desperately to be loved, and is clammoring for attention? I found an adult male part of me who is so wonderfully nurturing, and he's been really good with those younger parts of me that I just can't deal with. He's also a good companion for me.
>
> I completely understand the neediness for your T. After all you didn't get nearly what you needed as a child, so now you want all of that attention for yourself, and then add to it that you have to be so strong at work and at home. You need and deserve attention. It would be so much more simple if our parents would just love us the first time around, so we didn't have to undo all the damage.
>
> I hope you'll let yourself have what you need - the fun and the light heartedness will come at some point in time.
> fw
poster:Frida
thread:586792
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051206/msgs/586929.html