Posted by Tamar on December 5, 2005, at 17:09:01
In reply to Tamar (long post) » Tamar, posted by happyflower on December 5, 2005, at 14:26:50
Hi Happyflower
> You are right the way I will know is to ask. I know he is VERY honest with me, but I wonder HOW honest he would be if I asked if he was attracted to me. I think he might say that he was, why deny it when he KNOWS I would see right through him if he lied to me about it. But I would except him to do the "proper" thing a T should do and tell the client that it can't go anywhere. At least that is what I am expecting, because he does have a very fine repretation in the community.
Yeah, I think you are probably right. If it comes to a choice between his libido and his job he’s probably going to pick the safe option. I guess one of the questions I’d ask you is how you feel about enjoying the flirtation knowing that it won’t go anywhere. For me, that would be quite a relief in some ways. It’s sometimes really nice to know for sure that someone likes me and that I can enjoy liking them without worrying about the possible consequences if things went too far. But that’s just my perspective.
> But I still feel he has more than the average feelings for me than most clients, and I was just wondering if he was stuggling with that himself. You know he just turned 50 this year, and he did tell me he went thought a mid life crises. Maybe he finds my attraction satisfing his big ego. LOL Half his clients are kids, so it probably doesn't happen too often a good looking babe like me has the hots for him. LOL
Yeah, I can imagine! I do think that having a mutual attraction can bring something quite special to therapy. It’s an opportunity to explore feelings that don’t normally come under the spotlight.
> But even though I would love to have my way with him, I think I am expecting in the end, it will not happen, and he will still remain ethicical even though he might want to have hot sex with me. But I do think if he gave me the green light, I wouldn't be able to resist because I like him so much and I have never been so attracted to any guy this much. It's insane! So the flirting might all be fantazy material, but it is fun to talk and think about at least with you all, if it could happen. :)
I think it’s important to enjoy it. I know I’ve wasted many hours in agony over the idea that my therapist was simply not attracted to me because I’m too fat, ugly, old, stupid… and so on. In one way it was pointless because it was simply reinforcing my negative view of myself. But it was interesting to see how deeply-held those negative ideas were. At first I really did think my feelings were a bit immoral and I tried to crush them for a while. But that just made me feel worse about myself.
It can be quite revealing to discover where the feelings lead! I discovered I was able to challenge my negative feelings more easily when I allowed myself to think about my therapist in a playful way, as if we could really have been lovers. I’m sure that playing with the idea and enjoying it is a good thing. Life is short; what’s the point of feeling desire and not enjoying it?
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:585174
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/585835.html