Posted by happyflower on December 3, 2005, at 8:24:40
In reply to That is really great !!! » happyflower, posted by orchid on December 3, 2005, at 1:15:54
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> What you have said makes so much of sense. Sometimes, therapists want to get things moving so that they feel a sense of doing something. Just talking about things all the time might become somewhat boring to them so they might unconsciously look for some action.Yeah, you are right. I had to tell him another time to back off, it was about the EMDR thing. He admitted that yes he wants things to move faster at the same time I want thing to go slower. I am sure he will back off a bit if I tell too.
> Also you will have to perhaps weigh much more things if you decide to get a divorce.
Yes, we have talked a lot about these things, and I also have thought about it all too.
> Don't leave your marriage in the hope of having an affair or marrying your T.
I am not that dumb to do that! LOL I do feel we are soulmates, but I am not sure what kind of soul mates that we are. Not all soul mates are romantic ones.
If you really think your T wants to marry you and you are soulmates, ask him to leave his marriage first before you leave yours. I personally think he won't leave his marriage.
I don't think my T wants tomarry me, I know he is attracted to me and has feelings, but marriage is really putting the cart in front of the horse in this situation.
So put your full efforts on your marriage and leave the rest of the things for later.Yes, I agree, but I HAVE been working on my marriage, but I am the only one TRYING. I can't do it by myself.
I would also think you need to keep divorce and issuing ultimatums as the worst scenario as it is much harder to follow through the ultimatums.
Yes, I agree, but my T and I do agree, it has been months since any sex or any talking either. He refused to do couple therapy. Plus he won't tell me where he stands with that other women he works with. He avoids me and every conversation with me. It has been like this since last March. How long would you put up with this?
poster:happyflower
thread:584493
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/584900.html