Posted by littleone on November 9, 2005, at 15:12:49
In reply to going to say...but**trigger**, posted by B2chica on November 9, 2005, at 12:27:27
I'm glad you told your secret. That is such a big step. It took a lot of courage.
You can take a moment to just breathe and settle yourself a little. We can sit on the swings and watch the flutterby's.
> do i need to convince myself? could i be wrong? could my T be wrong? what if it really wasnt that bad and by saying that it was i'm demeaning those that really did suffer?
What happened, happened. It can be hard to put an exact name on something and even when you do, it can take a long time to *feel* that name fitting. But regardless of what name you put to it, you know those things happened.
Re could your T be wrong - I'm often asking my T how he knows my parents were as bad as I say they were. He's never met them. He wasn't there. I'm probably just blowing things all out of proportion or focusing on the bad stuff or whatever.
He says that he doesn't have to meet them. That he can see very clearly from my difficulties that *something* bad happened.
And I think I'm starting to learn that my something bad doesn't have to be compared to anyone else's something bad. I just have to know that it was bad for me. That it had a bad effect on me. And that's what counts.
I've read trauma books and they often talk about trauma having the objective and subjective components. The objective is what actually happened. And the subjective is what effect it had on you. Two people can suffer through the same event. One will cope well with it and move on, while the other may not cope well and develop PTSD and whatnot. It doesn't make one better or worse than the other. It doesn't mean that one is minimising or exagerating the event. It just means that because each person has their own unique history, they interpret and cope with events differently.
So no, you're not demeaning others by telling your secret. You're simply saying what happened and that it was bad for you.
And I'm glad you could take that step. Will we sit on the swings together now?
poster:littleone
thread:577105
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/577140.html