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Ranting some more and thanks for your kind reply » fairywings

Posted by Susan47 on November 2, 2005, at 2:31:43

In reply to Re: Oh, yes, plus, how can I go to India in just this » Susan47, posted by fairywings on November 1, 2005, at 22:32:56

I know. Well my first hurdle is to get my visa in order... I messed up and didn't send my passport with the application now there's three working days left until I leave and I'm panic-stricken over what to do. I don't normally make these types of mistakes but I am totally disorganized over this and I didn't read the info. carefully enough and now I will have to try and call and make arrangements to courier my passport over to the fr*gging consulate during my work day, which is horrible, what a huge hassle and a lot of money (this trip is going to just be energy, time and money and I really don't want to see my ex-husband, what a drag, I just don't really like him very much and I have to be in residence with him for weeks; how am I going to do that without hating him all over again???). And PLUS I was thrown a curve-ball on Monday when I got to work, one of the girls in one of the clinics needs me to replace her, I had no orientation in her clinic at all, I was thrown into the job and just had to do it, no opportunity for taking my time, for learning the job, you just Do and learn by being there.
And the patients line up and you need to be professional and pleasant and look like you know what you're doing, you cannot fall apart even though every instinct is telling me HELP, you know, I have to ignore the instincts and the base desire to sit down and cry, and smile and be pleasant and comforting and helpful, kind to people who are often rude and impatient and acting like spoiled children.
Oooooooohhhhhh I will be so happy when this week is over, I cannot imagine sitting in the plane and being able to just BE.
But my habit isn't the type where I will suffer much withdrawal, so thank GOD for that and perhaps it's a good chance to dry out. You know? I'm not crazy enough to think I can get away with anything, so no, I won't be jeopardizing anything and I hope I can just be "normal" whatever that is, once again.


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poster:Susan47 thread:574259
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/574414.html