Posted by antigua on October 27, 2005, at 18:43:40
In reply to The Hug I can't have, posted by antigua on October 26, 2005, at 9:51:33
Oh how right I was. No hug, just humiliation and shame at reaching out to someone I thought could and would be willing to help. How can I be so stupid to keep repeating this pattern, to keep thinking that they would actually care, or even like, me. In my heart I know that all men are not like this, but every one I reach out to (all of two, probably) rejects me. I can't believe it. I am so embarrassed to think that I took the risk and believed that someone might have cared, that I was worth something, and I stepped right into it. I am a freak, no matter what my T says, and there is no hope.
I will never get over this. It's another failure after all this work and I no longer believe in humanity or myself, no matter how hard my T tries to say otherwise. I am so damaged that I can never heal; it's just not possible for me. Not much of a life worth living.
antigua
poster:antigua
thread:572044
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/572482.html